He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
