Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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