I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
