they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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