Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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