Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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