stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
