I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
