her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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