i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Panties = found
Randomize
