Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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