the condom got lost in my hair
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
