Where did you get a picture of my penis
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ate ashes out of my bong
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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