Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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