Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
