I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
