Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
