Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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