i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
