i think my mom watched the whole time
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
