So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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