Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
