We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize