We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
