i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
