Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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