Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
