im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
