Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
