I love black thongs
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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