we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize