Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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