I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
