I can text with my tongue
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
