How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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