ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
