If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What a dumb baby whore.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
