i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
