Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
