I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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