I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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