Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
