i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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