Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
