His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
