My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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