Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They took my balls.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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