My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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