Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize