Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
