Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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