Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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