I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
