Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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