you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
