I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
