i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
