i just google imaged poop.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
