I hate all girls vehemently.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
