i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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