Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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